Sunshine & Taxes

I watched a documentary the other day—something I spend an embarrassing amount of time doing. It was one of those apocalyptic, the earth is dying, Al Gore rules and on and on.

Yet it made perfect sense—that the earth was designed to support a billion people, but then mankind discovers OIL (consider it pockets of ancient sunshine, or energy) and now the earth can support a billion times infinity people, and thus we start pro-creating and pumping tons of human beings out into the ample pits of the black liquid sunshine that abounds.

But there’s a catch according to this documentary. There always is.

The oil is running out (or going peak as the experts call it). Peak oil, described as half the oil on earth being tapped. So. Now, the earth is over saturated with people who consume and over tax this natural earth life giving support.

In my analytical mind the answers start pouring in like used sludge, and it’s not long before I conclude… wait for it…wait for it…

We just need to start killing off worthless motherfuckers. YEA! You’ve seen them, there fucking everywhere! Worthless mother fuckers abound. They’re the ones who don’t know how to accelerate in merge lanes—the dumb fucks who always come to a complete stop. Let’s off these bastards and hog our fair share of the ancient liquid fucking sunshine!

But wait. There’s a problem with this theory. Fuck, there always is.

The problem is that progressives have spent our share of money for the next two hundred and fifty fucking million years on worthless fucking programs. Thus, we need these worthless, medicated, non-driving mother fuckers to pay taxes! Fuck.

Has this set in with you yet? Have you glimpsed the raw fucking implications of this deal? No? Well let me clear it up. That jackoff co-worker who doesn’t do shit but talk to his slut girlfriend all day, take long lunches and toss your boss’s salad is the only thing in between you and the Chinese motherfuckers owning your silly ass.

You need him.

But wait, my analytical mind demands…let’s put these fucks to work in factories to produce porn toys and pay off the Chinese. Nope. That won’t work because unions will jump in and demand that we pay the fucks 10 times their worth. Then progressives will set regulations that we can’t chain the doors shut, and that the dildo manufacturing equipment will have to meet some fucking unrealistic safety measure.

Worse yet, they’ll spend our money having staff meetings (yuck) about how we have to insure these worthless cattle, and the EPA will have their say about dildo dust getting into the landfills. OSHA will chime in that we’ll have to provide safety glasses so the dumb fucks don’t poke out there eyes with the anal plugs and then we’re back to fucking zero again.

Fuck. Wait…nope, that’s it.

Your Own Private Afghanistgan

According to Fox News today, mother fuckers are dying in Afghanistan. I don’t mean just, US, British, Afghan civilians, militant warlords—I mean EVERY fucking body. I haven’t heard too much about embedded media fucks this time around. I mean, there are likely some there, but these cats are the ones with facial ticks, with wives so fucked up they’d rather eat lead in 140 degree heat than deal with their Paxil gobbling , low libido, whiny fucking fat asses. Where was I?

Oh, yea so all these fuckers are all together on this burned out scab of a country killing each other. Does anyone have any answers into…oh….errr……WTF is going on!! <--TWO exclamation points…you knew that shit was coming! Have we all gone completely fucking dumb due to the florescent lights down at the Super Wal-Mart?

\Note: the wife recently informed me that the Wal-Mart, red-vested mother fuckers have started painting the inside of their stores green. Obviously, that can’t be…must have been the PBR interacting with my meds again.

But, yea, so, in Afghan last month a whole school bus of elementary school kids get blown to the holy land. If our countries are so dumb as to participate in this mutual fucking self slaughter of astronomical proportions, shouldn’t they at least get the kids out? Most Americans didn't pick up on this news because they were too busy being jacked off by the media while being force fed all things Michael Jackson.

WTF is the US doing in that piece anyway? Are we still fucking working that pipe-line angle? Global positioning? New & inventive ways to drain the fucking economy? Who fucking knows really?

And I know some right-wing, religious nut, abortion doctor killer is going to go on and on about how we are stopping terrorism at its root. They can talk about how US efforts have culminated in zero attacks in the US since 911.

And maybe they’re right. Perhaps we should continue to act out of fear until there is nothing left of the great nation our founding fathers provided. We can all continue to watch reality tv, get into fist fights over NFL games, and walk around supermarkets with our blue tooth gadgets attached to our empty fucking melons.

Listen, between the US & the former Soviet Block heads, nothing is left of Afghanistan other than a huge fucking parking lot without the black-top. You’re not fighting a war on terror any more than we were halting the spread of communism during Vietnam. You cannot physically beat idealism. And surely invading their holy land & killing bitches will not endear us in the deranged mind of a terrorist. “I was gonna blow your shit up, but now, uh, we’re cool.”

But this gets interesting: according to the AP article, “A police chief in a neighboring province said a Western airstrike Wednesday night killed five farmers loading cucumbers into a taxi. The U.S. initially said the men were militants who had been seen placing weapons into a van. The American military said later in the day that they had been seen planting wire-controlled roadside bombs.”

And later that day they were seen throwing radio-active camel poop at each other. So, yea, I’m asking the same question you are right now: with all this sinister “James Bond” shit going on, why fuck with the cucumbers? When this reporter inquired of said farmer, he replied mockingly, “Bitches gotta eat, yo!” No not really, I made that last part up.

But there HAS been a measurable drop in volunteerism at local cucumber farms. Naw, I made that shit up too.

And , look, man, I’m not fucking busting balls, or making light over the loss of US service members. I’m just really fucking pissed that whatever lame ass angle our government is propagating in that wasteland, over in that fucking cesspool, that our proud US men & women are paying the ultimate price.
Folks, people die in Afghanistan. It’s where one goes. It’s like going to Wal-Mart for brain damage, or McDonalds for heart failure. It’s a fucking dying ground, a killing field, and it must be stopped.

Fuck, I thought all this was over when Bush flew in on a jet fighting cock, stood like a peacock in a crotch hugging flight suit and announced victory.

FWM

Anyone Still Out There?

As you can see, the Angry Libertarian Alliance did not turn into a group blog attacking ridiculous government antics. There's only one Angry Libertarian writing here and I'm not even that angry anymore.

If you are interested in writing for this blog, leave a comment. If you still read this blog, leave a comment.

If neither of those things happen in the next week, I'm shutting it down.

PJM Purges Paul

Those bastards over at Pajamas Media have purged Ron Paul from their Presidential primary poll. I guess they were pissed off that An Army of Davidsgot together to help him win last week's poll.

You taste that? That's the bitter taste of irony!

Stupid Bureaucrat Evicts Man from Van

After an Indiana newspaper published a touching human interest story about a 93-year-old man living in a van with a little help from his friends, a local bureaucrat had to piss in his Wheaties by kicking him out:

Sheryl Crum was the employee from the housing division of the Marion County Health Department who visited Green's van after the story ran. She pronounced it in violation of the County housing code and therefore uninhabitable. Reporter Will Higgins explained the code requires that "a domicile have running water and electricity," and power cords and bathroom privileges at the towing company don't count.

The Star ran a follow-up piece about the eviction, which generated a furor over the Housing Authority's actions. Apparently we're not the only ones who think that it's ridiculous to kick an old guy out of his van.

Republicans Accuse Libertarians of Stealing

Ramesh Ponnuru blames a Republican loss in Indiana on a Libertarian candidate "taking votes from him."

If Sodrel loses in Indiana, as looks likely, it may be because a libertarian candidate took votes from him. The same thing happened to keep Slade Gorton from winning re-election to the Senate and to keep Jon Ensign from beating Harry Reid. So far, losing because of libertarians hasn't caused Republicans to move toward the libertarians ideologically. But maybe things will change this time.

For the last time, they're not your votes, you goddamned smug Republicans! You want the votes, earn them, don't blame Libertarians for stealing them from you.

Can't Save the Workers Without Fucking Over a few Workers

On my other blog, a cautionary tale of how not to react to globalization.

I'm still in a, kind of a state of disbelief. It's a crying shame that, uh, I don't have that option, simply because of a union that I have supported for 40 years. And as far as I'm concerned they have taken money out of my pocket." The irony, he says, is that the other union members he works with couldn't wait for him to get back, to decide whether to sign up for an overseas operation themselves.

This ought to help the labor movement bounce back, right?

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...fuck unions...

Why We're Angry

This sums it up.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...making sandwiches...

News Flash: Anti-Smoking Groups are Liars

Jacob Sullum notes that the claim that secondhand smoke exposure causes atherosclerosis and heart attacks is bullshit, purposely advanced by anti-smoking groups to scare people.

Remember kids, "Smoking is Healthier Than Fascism"

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...puff, puff, pass...

Affirmative Action at the CIA

The Bush Administration is showing their commitment to the "differently abled" by nominating a man to run the CIA who can't read.

Hat Tip: Radley Balko

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...idiots...

Bush Still Supports Preemptive War

The President still supports preemptive war, despite the Iraq fuck-ups. Not only that, but he's got an even longer list of bad countries that we're thinking of striking against.

What an asshole.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...angry...

Mohammed Cartoons

Professor Eugene Volokh has a good analysis of the cartoon controversy, complete with illustrations.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...instablogging...

Something to Think About

"Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws." -John Adams, 2nd US president (1735-1826)

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...strangely fitting...

Get Your Passport In Order

Looks like the DOJ believes that the President can order a killing on U.S. soil.

Emigration looks better and better.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...wtf...

Government to Steal Church for Development

Stephen Gordon at Hammer of Truth notes a shitty, though predictable, outgrowth of the Kelo v. New London decision. The government in Sand Springs, OK is taking a black church to redevelop a "rundown area of town".

With bulldozers churning up the earth at the front door, the small Centennial Baptist Church in this struggling industrial hub west of Tulsa seems about to fall to the wrecker.

The Rev. Roosevelt Gildon in his Centennial Baptist Church, in Sand Springs, Okla. The church is resisting the city's plan to clear the church and other occupants to make way for superstores like the Home Depot.

But the construction is just roadwork, for now. And that is all it will ever be if the congregation has its way.

"The Lord didn't send me here to build a minimall," said the longtime pastor, the Rev. Roosevelt Gildon

Admittedly, the city is not using eminent domain yet; they're just keeping it as a last resport, if they can't come to an agreement on the price of the buyout. So, either negotiations are successful, or we steal your church. What an option.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...disgusted...

Cereal Killer

In These Times story, "Snap, Crackle ... Patents" reports on how one Arizona company is using IP law to prevent anyone else from selling cereal the way they sell cereal.

Back in 2000, David Roth had one of those "eureka" moments that are the stuff of American entreprenurial legend. After spotting a box of Cocoa Puffs hidden behind the desk of a Wall Street executive, Roth dreamed up a retail business that would sell cereal all the time.
...
Across the country, Rocco Monteleone was getting set to open Bowls, a cereal cafe in Gainesville, Florida, (near the University of Florida) when he found out that Cereality had beaten him to the punch. OK, he figured, no harm, no foul: It's America. Anyone can open a restaurant selling cereal. Right?
...
In May, Monteleone received a letter from Cereality's attorney warning him that he may be in violation of a patent application the company had filed for its "methods and system" of selling cereal. These included: "displaying and mixing competitively branded food products" and adding "a third portion of liquid."

That's right, this company decided to patent selling cereal with milk to college kids.

In the end, the PTO denied the patent application, but this is the kind of bullshit that begs for IP reform.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...happy new year...

Action: Stop the Patriot Act

Act now to stop the renewal of the Patriot Act. Check out
this post at Hammer of Truth for step-by-step instructions on what you can do to block the Patriot Act.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...still angry...

There Oughtta Not Be A Law: Airplane Toilet Edition

Christopher Elliott writes in the New York Times about the fact that there is not a law requiring all airplanes to have a working restroom.

Unbelievable as it may sound, the only apparent law on the books that requires an aircraft to fly with a working restroom, the Air Carrier Access Act of 1986, applies to planes with more than one aisle that were delivered or refurbished after April 1992. That's a huge loophole, given the number of jets that are older or have just one aisle. Plus, federal law seems to be mum when it comes to the all-important passenger-to-toilet ratio on a plane.

Oh my God, whatever shall we do? I mean, if there's no law, it's merely a matter of time before airlines force their passengers to "hold it" for the duration of the flight. Emergency session! Pass a law now, before there's stinking planes full of piss and shit flying around our fair country!! Oh noes!!

Or maybe it's not such a big problem after all, because airlines don't want to piss off their passengers.

Of course, airlines don't exploit this regulatory lapse. United, like other domestic and international airlines, operates all its planes - no matter their age or size - with a full complement of working restrooms. Most of the time. "If a lavatory is malfunctioning, we will close it down and refer customers to an alternative one on the plane," said a United spokeswoman, Robin Urbanski. "If more than one lavatory is malfunctioning, we typically divert the plane."

As Derek was saying to me, "I think there are people who believe basic physical forces would cease to function if the American legislature did not enact a regulation requiring them to occur. So of course airlines wouldn't put washrooms in just to keep their passengers happy and using their airline..."

Next time someone suggests a law to fix a non-problem, just remind them of the idiocy of toilet regulations for airplanes.

Hat tip: Nick Gillespie at Hit and Run

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...not dead yet...

The Grey Lady Catches Up

As mentioned here back in July, IJ is winning the New London war, even though the Supreme Court ruled against them.

It looks like the New York Times figured it out today. My favorite passage:

"We need to have some positive things happening so that every lender and investor I go to doesn't say, 'I want to be 100 miles away from here,' " Ms. Jones said. "Eminent domain in Fort Trumbull has been on the front page of every newspaper in the country, and it has not put New London in the most positive light."

Despite losing in court, the holdouts have gained political leverage, largely through the public relations effort led by the Institute for Justice, Mr. Joplin said.

Scott G. Bullock, a lawyer for the Institute for Justice who argued for the resistant property owners before the Supreme Court, said, "We might have lost the battle, but the overall war is really going in our favor."

"What developer is going to want to build on land that was received through probably the most universally despised Supreme Court decision in decades?" Mr. Bullock asked.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...vindicated...

Do you have a permit for that satire?

Looks like the White House is suing The Onion for the use of the Presidential Seal without "official approval."

Hammer of Truth has come up with their own...umm...use of the the Seal. Wonder how long it'll take to get approval for that. Given how far the Administration has stretched the collective ass of the country, it should be a no-brainer.

Yours truly,
Mr. X

...tee hee...